Do We Ever Truly Heal?

The short answer is no, but that depends on what your definition of healing is.

A few years ago I realized running from my past was too exhausting, and decided to face everything head-on. I made the decision to heal. Now, I’m not too sure if I actually healed or tricked myself into believing that I did.

Most of the time I feel on top of the world. I convince myself that I have healed and manage to go along with it for a while. And then one day… Boom! Out of nowhere, tears start streaming down my face.

Sometimes I know why. I sometimes even know exactly what the trigger was and other times, I have absolutely no clue.

Even what’s meant to be a joyful, happy, exciting, pleasurable moment makes me burst into tears.

I wouldn’t say they are tears of joy though.

I’m very grateful and thankful for my life but most of the time that’s not the reason either. It’s a feeling I have not yet been able to describe.

What I thought and believed I’d moved past and reconciled with comes back chasing after me. It’s almost like I can run but I can never hide.

I think I’m starting to get it now.

Healing is not a destination, it’s a journey with no shortcuts. It’s an ongoing process that cannot be rushed. You heal piece by piece, you get to know yourself in the process, and then, you discover peace.

Your life doesn’t get back to the way it was before, you don’t suddenly become unbroken or unbreakable because you are likely to break again at some point.

I think it’s about shifting your mindset. It’s about the way you see and interpret things and situations moving forward.

Healing is not about getting rid of the trauma. You can’t undo what’s already done. It’s about exploring, understanding, accepting, forgiving…

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