The Power of Asking for and Embracing What You Want

Give yourself permission to want what you want

The power of making a request is often underestimated.

Just say what you want. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t scale back your ask because you’re scared of the reply — just effing send it. Chuck it. Make the big ask. Ask for what you truly want. Go after the thing that is calling to your soul.

Because what’s the worst that could happen?

It might be scary to speak your truth, to lay bare your deepest desires and put them out into the world. It’s scary to ask for something you want, because what if the person says no? What if it doesn’t work out? What if the universe says no?

But that’s where the fear should end.

“No” is the worst-case scenario — and it’s not even that bad. You won’t die. The world won’t end. You’ll keep on living — and chances are, you’ll find another way to get what you want.

Banish the fear of hearing “no.” Make up your mind that you’re going to have the thing no matter what — and the fear disappears.

That way, hearing “no” won’t end your world — because you’re bound and determined to have this thing anyways, so it doesn’t matter if one person tells you no. You’re going to find a way to make it happen for yourself.

(Now here’s the part where I say, this is all in relation to things like career goals, life goals, and expressing your desires for having a romantic relationship — obviously I’m not talking about ignoring someone when they say no and do not give their consent for sexual activities or refute your advances.)

As an example, one time, I asked my job to allow me to be a permanent remote employee and relocate halfway across the world.

It was a big ask, and there were obviously people who weren’t on board. They made some requests I thought were unreasonable, and I told them so.

I countered with asking for exactly what I wanted and exactly what I thought was a reasonable solution. I made it clear that I would be relocating on a specific date, no matter what — I could be an employee of the company, or not…

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